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| Red-eyed Vireo Crow Valley Campground, CO 9/7/13 |
But if you don't say anything at all when you have a bad day, that makes for a short blog.
The Bad: Can we just dispense with it by saying that my week coming into this trip was not so good? I had an MRI of a bum knee, and then on the same day, I broke a toe (hard-plastic water bottle-completely full, flip-flops). I'm burning the proverbial candle on both ends and not getting enough sleep. I'm only a month or so into the program, and I have a mental countdown going. I'm anxious and worried about my birding skills. I'm worried that my classmates, many or most who have much more experience than I have, are getting lots more field experience than I am, no matter how hard I try, and that I think I need the field time more. And so on and so forth and all kinds of negative attitude stuff.
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| Red-eyed Vireo Crow Valley Campground, CO 9/7/13 |
And it's another way-too-early start, as we head up to northeast Colorado and the Pawnee National Grasslands.
And nobody brings scones. It is just not getting set up to be a good day.
The Good: Now, who can quibble with three life birds in a single day? And even though it doesn't feel like a great photo day (brutal Colorado sun, heat waves, birds at a distance, and generally very few of the sparrows we've come to see), I end up with some decent looks at some cool birds.
For my non-birding friends, let me tell you about the concept of a "life bird". Birders keep records of their bird-watching that can bring the accounting profession to shame. What bird did you see, in what specific location, at what time, and all kinds of details that non-birders might be incredulous to know matter to birders. There's a whole separate post in the making on that topic. Suffice to say for now that a "life bird" is one that you haven't seen before, and, in a birder's life, is a Big Deal.
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| Western Wood-Pewee Crow Valley Campground, CO 9/7/13 |
Three life birds in a day for someone with an established list (even if it's not yet two years old) is a Super Big Deal.
The first lifer, a Sage Thrasher, comes early in the day as we walk through the lowland riparian deciduous forest at Crow Valley. I'm pretty stoked, even though I don't get a single decent photo. Later in the day, I'll see several more of these birds out on the Pawnee National Grasslands, and they'll present themselves for photo ops.
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| Yellow-headed Blackbirds Pawnee National Grasslands 9/7/13 |
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| Sage Thrasher Pawnee National Grasslands 9/7/13 |
The second lifer is a complete surprise. My classmate George is walking ahead of me, along a fence line that is covered with a tangle of shrubs and small trees. We're looking for sparrows and migrating warblers. What we're not expecting is for a Long-eared Owl to flush up out of the brush and land on a fence right in front of us. George sees the bird and yells it out; just two steps later, I'm looking into the eyes of this beautiful bird. George is frozen on the other side of it; I freeze on my side, but I know I'm too close. And, oh, by the way, I don't have my freaking camera. So I start a slow backup, because I don't want the bird to fly. The rest of the class is behind me, and - in response to George's shouts - they're rushing forward. The bird flushes again, and flies out of sight.
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| Lark Bunting Pawnee National Grasslands 9/7/13 |
I may not have gotten a photo, but the experience of looking that incredible bird eye to eye is burned in my brain. If you want a view, you have to find a way to get into that space, and quite frankly, although the Long-eared Owl is pretty cool, I'd caution you against going there. My mind is not always a good place to be.
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| Yellow-headed Blackbirds Pawnee National Grasslands 9/7/13 |
The final newbie of the day is a Sabine's Gull, seen at Loloff Reservoir, a place we stop on our way back to town. Now, reservoir bird-watching is not my favorite, largely because the birds are always so far away that it's hard to get good looks at them, and impossible to get any usable photos. But given that the gull is a rarity in these parts, I take a few photos and make a record of the sighting.
As Anne Lamott would say, this is the right time to offer up a prayer of thanks. Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Three new birds, including one incredibly cool one (that Long-eared Owl, one that many people would give their right eye to see). Thankyouthankyou. Thanks very much. Thanks.
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| Sabine's Gull Loloff Reservoir, CO 9/7/13 |
The Ugly: Well, that fabulous experience with the Long-eared Owl ends up being a mixed thing. It leads to a next-class "talk" about birding ethics. It turns out that George and I are the only people in the class who have a good view of that bird, and so the ethics talk feels a lot like a scolding. And folks, if there was every anyone who hated being scolded, you're looking at her. No matter how many times I read Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" and his exhortation to not take things personally (that would be the Second Agreement), I take things personally.
I try not to, but it's just who I am.
And I replay the motion picture in my mind: taking that step forward and seeing that owl directly in front of me; freezing; backing up slowly. I don't feel like I violated birding ethics. But I feel bad about it all the same. Really, really bad.
My friend Leann is insightful in ways that make me seek her counsel on what is becoming a pretty regular basis. Months ago, when I told her about the AMB program and all that it involves, she asked, "are you at all worried that the program will take the mystery out of your new passion?" I considered it, and replied to her that the more I learn about birds, the greater my fascination and wonder. Then her reply: so maybe you'll lose some of the mystery but keep all the magic.
This experience with the Long-eared Owl is a sighting that should have been heavenly, but - because of that scolding and my worries about it - is something else entirely. It's the first time I've felt that I'm in danger of losing the magic. And I wonder if that's something you can ever get back?
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